WHERE IS THE HIKER BOX?

I meant to write this sooner, honestly, I did. But it never felt “right.” It still doesn’t. Writing my post hike thoughts means it’s really over. I’m really back in society, where bladder control is a necessity and strangers don’t pop out of bushes to throw soda and candy at you. I still don’t feel ready to close the chapter, and more so, I feel that I’m only echoing those who hiked before. Reentry is hard, I want to be back on the trail, etc, etc.

I think back to one of those blissful nights in the Sierras with Shredder (who finished Sept. 7th, by the way). We were all sitting around with our little tin pots of food and he shared with Quiet Man (finished Sept. 6th) and I something one of his close friends told him about thru-hiking. “It ruins your life,” Shredder told us, jokingly, but it rings true. I didn’t know how right he was until I got home. Now all I can think about at any given moment is what I would be doing if I were on the trail, or how I can get back.

The first couple of weeks home I just felt like I was floating. I bought armfuls of peaches at the farmer’s market and went on a lot of long walks to nowhere. Running even short distances made my calves scream with pain, so instead I found every excuse to take my bike places. There was terrible TV, board games, dogs and old friends. But none of it felt real. It was just an extended vacation from the trail, right? A bunch of zeros to rest up before a really technical section. But it’s been a month since I finished and I wake up in the same bed every morning, with no concrete goal for the day. I think that’s the hardest part. On the trail, everything was so simple. Wake up, keep moving north, don’t die. No matter how terrible I felt or what dark places my mind took me, I always had North.

Now I sit here, typing away in the wee hours of the morning because I’m so ridiculously restless. I ache to ache. I want to be so exhausted that I don’t know which way is up, and no matter how hard I run or how far I bike, I always want more. Here, sound asleep beside me, is everything I’ve always wanted. I want nothing more than to be sleeping right next to her. But instead my mind runs in circles and I get moody and grumpy at a moments notice and then I become withdrawn without even realizing it. Writing feels strange, on the trail it came to me so easily. All I had to do was describe what I saw, tell funny stories about who I ran in to and write about food. I’m finding it really difficult to communicate what’s happening inside my brain and body, my needs and thoughts. I thought I just needed time, but I feel like the more time passes, the less coherent I become. What is the trail? What did I just do? Why? When will this lump in my throat disappear and allow me to breathe normally again?

 

tl;dr Shredder was right and I’m a mess.

2014 Gear Review

Shelter – Tarptent Moment

A not so great pitch, but here it is under Mather Pass in the Sierras. I’ve said it in many a blog post, but I’ll say it again – I love this tent. It pitches super fast (hence the name) and it withstood high winds in the desert (when I wasn’t cowboy camping), snow on San Jacinto, hail in Oregon and rain in Washington. It’s super roomy inside, there was plenty of room for me and my gear. I bought this model a few years ago, and since then they have revamped this tent and it now comes with two vestibules/doors, whereas mine only has one. I can imagine this feature makes it more breezy, although I never had issues with stuffiness. The triangles on either side have mesh for ventilation, and there are also optional vents on the top.

Since it’s a single wall tent, condensation is a thing, but the inside was so roomy that I had no trouble making sure I didn’t touch the sides when it was wet. I would sometimes wake up in the morning with the footbox of my sleeping bag damp, but this would also happen whilst cowboy camping.

Tarptent’s customer service is FANTASTIC. I emailed them with a question about the best way to a field repair and I had an answer within hours. Every other thru-hiker I talked to on the trail said similar things. Some folks have issues with the zippers failing since we use the gear so hard, and Tarptent sent them stuff to fix it to their next resupply point.

The Short and Skinny:  I love this tent. It’s 4 years old so it won’t make it for another thru-hike, but my next tent will also be a Tarptent.

 

Sleep System – Marmot Helium 15 degree bag with REI 3/4 length inflatable sleeping pad

Let me start by saying I’m a cold sleeper, like, really cold. There was only one night on the trail when I was uncomfortably cold, and it was when I was camped on top of 6 inches of snow at 10,000 feet and my long underwear bottoms had gotten wet so I wasn’t wearing them. This sleeping bag kept me warm and was super comfy for the whole trip. I had the regular length (I’m 5’9″) and had enough room long ways and side ways.

There were a few times, especially in Oregon and Washington, where I woke up with a lot of condensation on the bag. It’s down, which is useless when it’s wet, but since the temperature rating is so low, it didn’t matter and I still didn’t get cold. I like having a hood to cinch around my head when I get cold, it became a comforting thing, being able to bury myself in my sleeping bag at night. It weighs just over 2 pounds, and packs down into a size small eVent compression sack.

I bought my sleeping pad on clearance from REI, and it did its job. It kept me warm and it was comfortable. Whatever material is used on the outside was super durable, and the pad only got one hole the entire hike. The trade off was that it’s kind of bulky and weighs almost a pound, so ideally I’d like to switch to either a Neoair or ditch the inflatable entirely and just go to a foam pad.

The Short and Skinny: I love my sleeping bag and I’ll use it until it’s a smashed ball of useless crumpled feathers.

 

Pack – Osprey Exos 48 / Aura 50

(Left: Exos, Right: Aura)

 

I started and finished with the Osprey Aura 50. In Agua Dulce, I pulled the Exos out of a hiker box at the Saufley’s – the only thing wrong with it was the ripped mesh front pocket. Osprey came out with this pack 2 weeks before I started the trail, and I just couldn’t rationalize buying a new pack when I already had one that I knew I liked. I patched the mesh and the Exos worked like a dream until after I came out of the Sierras and no longer had any ass or love handles left. The pack was a men’s size medium and it was too long for my torso, so I had Mom bring me my Aura to Tahoe when she came out.

The Aura weighs a whole pound more than the Exos, and it has too many pockets. The Exos had one main compartment, the mesh front pocket and two mesh side pockets. The hip belt pockets were also bigger, which meant they could hold more snacks, which was important because I was eating a bar every hour so I didn’t have to stop walking. There were also nifty pockets on the front of the straps of the Exos, which the Aura didn’t have. I used them to hold my headphones, glove liners and buff. The material of the whole pack was stretchier so it felt roomier even though it was 2 liters smaller than the Aura. Both packs were comfortable and could handle carrying 6 liters of water through the desert, though I could tell the Exos fabric was straining a bit more than the Aura fabric since it’s thinner.

Though I preferred the Exos to the Aura, both packs are great and I have always liked Osprey as a company. Their customer service is awesome. When an animal chewed through my pack, I went to the outfitter in Mount Shasta and they got in touch with Osprey and they exchanged my pack for FREE, even though it wasn’t a product defect. All I had to do was pay the outfitter $15 to ship my destroyed pack back to Osprey.

The Short and Skinny: If I were to do another long distance hike, I’d choose the Exos (in my size) over the Aura. I’m tempted to switch to a company like Gossamer Gear or ULA because they use dyneema fabric, which is supposed to be more waterproof and lightweight.

 

Cook System – MSR Microrocket, Snow Peak Mini Soloist (pot only)

I never once wished I was stoveless. Having a hot meal at the end of a day was good for morale, and my cook system was super compact. A small canister of fuel fits inside my pot with my stove, making it compact and lightweight. I was often camped with people who had Jetboils, which made me feel like it took forever to boil water, but really it only took about 5 minutes. I only used my stove once a day, usually for dinner unless I had to cook at a water source during long waterless stretches. I was concerned about blowing through fuel really quickly, but because I was only using my stove to boil water and then add potatoes or cous cous, I could go 500 miles on one small fuel canister.

The Microrocket is a smaller version of the Pocket Rocket – it’s a few ounces lighter and the burner edges fold down smaller. The Pocket Rocket is sturdier, but doesn’t fit inside my pot with everything else. One thing I don’t like about the micro rocket is that the burner pieces fold out wider than the pocket rocket. This was intentional in the design to allow larger pots to be more stable on the burner, but since my pot was so small it was less sturdy and sometimes it would wobble.

The Short and Skinny: I don’t want to change anything about my cook system, except maybe switching from a spork to a spoon to make it easier to scrape the bottom of the pot.

 

Water Purification – Sawyer Squeeze/ Aquamira/ Katadyn Hiker

 

 

 

Getting water is my LEAST favorite trail chore. I love drinking water, but I hate stopping get it and because of that I always carried more than I needed. I was TERRIFIED of running out of water in the desert, and I never did, because I carried a metric fuck ton of water. But it meant I could drink as much as I wanted, and that was important to me.

I started with the Sawyer Squeeze. People rave about this filter, and it’s decent, but I ditched it at Kennedy Meadows because I’m impatient. The packaging says that the filter will get faster with more use, I didn’t find that to be the case. I hated having to back flush it constantly, and it took a long time to squeeze the bags and get water. The filter also has a water bottle cap feature to allow you to drink straight from the bag, but the flow was so slow that I felt like I was working unnecessarily hard and my thirst wasn’t quenched – I wanted to gulp it down, dammit! My biggest issue with it was the fact that I was never sure if it had frozen or not – they say if it freezes then it will no longer work properly, and there were definitely a couple of super cold nights where I forgot to put the filter in my sleeping bag with me. I wish it had some sort of indicator to tell you if it’s still good.

So I switched to Aquamira, which I didn’t want to do because I didn’t really want to drink chemicals, but at the end of the day it doesn’t really change the flavor of the water, not like iodine. I was okay with waiting 15 minutes for the chemicals to react, because I could just dump it in my platypus and keep hiking. I stopped using Aquamira simply because I couldn’t find it. REI doesn’t sell it in any of their stores for whatever reason, and all of the outfitters I went to in Portland were out of it. Aquamira is the only chemical treatment that doesn’t take 4 hours to purify water, aside from Potable Aqua, which is iodine and shouldn’t be used long term.

The Katadyn filters are tried and true, it’s the first form of water purification I ever used in the backcountry. I was considering starting with it, but decided against it because of the bulkiness of the filter. It doesn’t take too long to pump water – it’s definitely faster than the Sawyer. The only drawback (besides the size and weight) was when it came to filtering from the little creeks running across the trail. They aren’t very deep so I’d have to dig a hole or just wait for the next water source. BUT I could filter from disgusting ponds and feel okay about drinking it, so there’s that.

The Short and Skinny: I don’t think there’s any perfect water purification method. For the last 2 weeks, I didn’t filter very many sources, mostly out of laziness. Part of me wants a Steripen, but I hear those are finicky, and they’re also expensive. If Sawyer were to revamp their filter to make the flow faster, I’d go with that.

 

Technology – Suntactics S5 Charger / iPhone 5s in Atlas case

I used my phone a lot on the trail, and having a solar charger meant I didn’t (usually) have to worry about running out of battery before I got to town. The Suntactics charger is a little pricy, but I think it’s worth it. I just wasn’t satisfied with Goal Zero or any of the other brands that you could buy at an REI, and I knew a lot of hikers who had their chargers break. I didn’t have that issue. The Suntactics S5 weighs only 8 oz and folds up to the size of a CD case. It doesn’t store power, so it has to be in the sun to charge. Through the desert and the Sierras where there isn’t a lot of tree cover, it worked wonderfully and charged my phone faster than a wall charger. It was more difficult in the Pacific Northwest, but that just meant I’d have to stop and take a break to let it sit in the sun and charge a bit. Sometimes it would be a little finicky if I crossed a patch of shade, and I would have to unplug my phone and then plug it back in. I’ve been told this is a bug with Apple, not the charger itself.

I did a ridiculous amount of research on phone cases before deciding which one I wanted. This was due in part to the fact that this is my first smart phone, and these things are expensive. The Lifeproof cases are lighter, but I didn’t like the screen protector because it was plastic. The Incipio Atlas has a glass screen protector, and is completely waterproof, shockproof and drop proof. I dropped this thing so many times (including into a few streams) and my phone is still completely intact. EVERYTHING gets beat up on a thru-hike, no matter how well you take care of it. Any indestructible case is going to negatively affect the functionality of the phone, that’s just the sacrifice you have to make. The Touch ID doesn’t work as well with the case, and typing on the screen is a little obnoxious because it’s less sensitive with the screen protector on it. The bottom of the case (where the speakers and charging port are) is covered with a little plastic door, which muffles the sound if you’re trying to listen to music or use speakerphone. I stopped using speakerphone altogether with this case because I felt like I was yelling at the phone to be heard. This case is great for protecting the phone on adventures, but in real life I’m switching to something more user friendly.

The Short and Skinny: I used my phone for navigation (Halfmile’s app), blogging, and music while I was hiking on the trail, and the Suntactics charger allowed me to do that. On hikes that are more in the trees (like say, the AT), I’d probably go with a battery pack, but it worked brilliantly on the PCT.

Day 131: There’s More Than One Answer to These Questions

Tamarack Peak – Castle Creek CANADA
Mileage: 24.4

I was awake early this morning. Canada is so close! I was beyond excited. I climbed along the ridges and wound between high mountain passes. And then, just like that, it was over. I came through the trees and saw the huge wooden posts that I’ve been fixated on for so long. I’d seen pictures of the monument, I knew what it looked like, but that didn’t make it any less stunning when I was finally standing right in front of it.

There was no grand stand full of people cheering me on across a finish line. There were no cameras, no one was waiting with a medal and a handshake. I just saw my friends, my trail family. We ate the pastries that we carried all the way from Stehekin (still delicious 4 days later) and passed around the box of wine Happy Pants packed out, and the bottle of champagne Sochi left for us. Then we hiked across the border to a campsite. We went back and forth between our usual end of day banter and quiet reflection. It’s really ending. Tomorrow we hike the 8 miles into Manning Park where Goat will catch a bus and Happy Pants and I get in a car and leave the trail for good.

I don’t have any profound realizations to share, so sorry if you’ve been waiting all this time for something like that. I will say that the past 4 months have changed me, as I expected they would. Just how much, I’ll have to wait until I resume business as usual (whatever that is) in order to really know.

“There’s more than one answer to these questions, pointing me in a crooked line.
And the less I seek my source for some definitive, closer I am to fine”

Day 130: I’m Gonna Miss This

Below Metchow Pass – Tamarack Peak
Mileage: 25

Still feeling like a rock star, and I’m not even done yet. And on top of that the hiking was beautiful and mellow. Or maybe it just felt that way. What will I do when my only responsibility is no longer just to walk as far as I can? I push the thought to the back of my mind. For now, I just want to walk the ridges. This trail has given me so many beautiful ridge walks, I’ve been above the clouds, below the clouds and everywhere in between. There is no other place in the world that makes me feel so huge and powerful, but yet so small. I can see everything up here, I feel in control, which is crazy because I am anything but. I am at the mercy of the trail, and it had been so good to me.

We are camped with a group of Boy Scouts tonight, they ask us questions and we all eat dinner together. They were all surprised to hear that Girl Scouts go backpacking, but don’t worry, I schooled them. Politely.

Day 129: Rainy Pass Is, In Fact, Rainy

North Fork Campsite – below Metchow Pass
Mileage: 23

I woke up with a sore throat this morning. I was hoping it was just because it got pretty cold last night, but it persisted through the morning as I hiked along the ridges. I tried not to think about it. 3 days to Canada, nothing is stopping me now.

I got to Rainy Pass and saw Happy Pants sitting with a guy by a red pick up truck. Trail magic! The guys name was Troll, he hiked with his son a couple years back. He gave me a Gatorade and some chips and we chatted for a bit. It was a great pick me up, especially because it was cloudy and cold.

The second half of the day took me up above tree line along some more ridges. There were a bunch of section hikers – all of them kept congratulating me and giving me high fives. I felt like a rock star.

I met the guys at the top of the last pass and we hiked down to find a campsite. It’s so early! This is wonderful. We pitched our tents and built a fire in the fire ring, with just enough time to make dinner and hang out before the rain forced us into our tents. I made my last peppermint tea in hopes that it would make my throat feel better and it seems to have helped! Immune system don’t fail me now!

Day 128: Start Sayin’ Yer Goodbyes

Stehekin – North Fork Campsite
Mileage: 8

Sleeping in is so nice. This town is so quiet, even with summer tourists all over the place. I meander down to the deck overlooking the lake to find Sochi getting ready to catch the 8am bus back to the trail. He’s meeting Cassie at the monument a day and a half before Goat, Happy Pants and I plan on finishing, so this is really goodbye.

“Love ya, mean it.” He said as he gave me a big hug. He, Dirtmonger and Bearclaw all hopped on the bus and I stood at the railing and waves them off. It’s really happening. We are going to Canada.

Goat, Happy Pants and I have breakfast and sit by the lake until the 11am shuttle comes to take us to the bakery. Again. I spend too much money, eat too many sweets and nap in the grass. It feels glorious, but I also feel sluggish. It’s nice that there isn’t even the possibility to communicate with the outside world on this, the last town stop. No cell service, no wifi. Which means blog updates get backed up and I still have no clue how I’m getting from Bellingham to Seattle, but it also means that napping in the grass and eating delicious baked goods are the only things on my to do list.

When the next bus comes, we begrudgingly leave the bakery to get back to the trail. But it’s alright, we are only doing a few miles.

At camp we plan the next few days. 3 full days of hiking. That’s it. I’m not sure I believe it. But it’s true, it’s ending. I’d like to say I’m ready, and for the most part I think I am. I’ll be glad to not have to sleep in socks anymore, and to have all the drinking water I want without having to treat it. But that also means I have to do things like pay utility bills and put gas in my car…

Day 127: Last. Town. Stop

Miners Creek – Stehekin
Mileage: 22.5

We were up all night. First it was the mice, and then came the deer scratching around outside my tent. They wouldn’t go away no matter what I did. Since before Stevens Pass the mice have been really obnoxious.

I hiked all the way to the High Bridge ranger station without stopping, I wanted to make sure that I made the 3pm bus to Stehekin. I had stuffed my hip belt pockets with all the snacks and bars I had left, and even though I ate every hour, nothing seemed to satisfy my hunger. I’ve been at the point for awhile now where I’m carrying as many calories as I can without overloading my pack, which would slow me down and cause me to burn even more calories. It shows too. I can see bones that I’ve never seen before, my hips have huge welts on them where my straps rub because I can’t pull them any tighter. Just a few more miles!

Stehekin is a town with 65 permanent residents on the east side of Lake Chelan (3rd deepest fresh water lake in the country!). Unless you hike in, the only way to get here is by boat or sea plane. There is one road, and we were on it. People have been talking about the bakery in this town for as long as i can remember and the bus stopped there before heading to town.

I bought a piece of peach pie, a black bottom cupcake and a cinnamon roll for the border. I downed the pie and the cupcake before we had made the 2 miles down the road to the main part of town. So delicious.

On the porch of the store I found Sochi, Dirtmonger and Bearclaw drinking beer and looking out at the lake. We hung out the rest of the evening, with the conversation always circling back to how crazy it is that we are here. What a ride.

Day 126: Exhausted. But it’s Pretty!

Mica Lake Outlet – Miners Creek
Mileage: 26.3

Another morning that I didn’t want to get up. The rain soon decided for me though, just as I was rolling around in my sleeping bag it started. This would mean packing up a wet tent. I did everything I could inside to stay dry for as long as possible before braving the rain. As soon as I got outside I was freezing. Hello, cold Washington rain. I put on my rain gear and set off. 10 minutes later, the rain let up and the sun came out again. It’s like the weather was saying “hurry up and finish, or this is what you get.” Working on it.

Today’s hiking was the same as the last 2 days. Lots of steep uphill followed by steep downhill. Lather, rinse, repeat. I caught up with Goat and Happy Pants at a bridge – we are all so tired. The elevation profiles of this section are insane, like the sierras but lower. This was our last day of it, and that’s what I kept reminding myself.

We get to camp and go through the motions. Pitch tent, get water, make dinner. Stehekin tomorrow! Our last town stop! The wind brings in cold evening air and we retreat to our tents. I lay in my warm cocoon and wonder what it will feel like to be without my nylon cave when this is all over.

Day 125: Glacier Peak Wilderness is Kicking My Ass

Lake Sally Ann – Mica Lake Outlet
Mileage: 26

Today was beautiful. And hard. In the morning I climbed among the meadows along the ridge line until I came to a pass. All around me were mountains, some bright green with grass and trees jutting up towards the sky, others were solid rock with patches of snow. Glacier Peak loomed in the distance, the top mysteriously shrouded in clouds. Two families and their dogs came up the pass – they take their kids on an extended camping/hiking trip every summer before school starts.

“When will you be done, September some time?” One of the mothers asks. They are astounded that I will be done in a week. Exactly one week from today.

I leave them to their lunch and head down the pass. For the rest of the afternoon I slide through the mid and fall several times – proving that no matter how much walking I do, I only get faster, not better at not tripping.

Over the last few miles morale dips down pretty low. 4000 feet of climbing is hard at the end of the day, and the climbs are steep. My knees hurt and I’m hot and I can’t seem to drink enough water. I arrive at camp, right next to a frozen lake overlooking the valley and huge mountains, and I’m grumpy. It’s time for my fail safe.

I always carry a couple of peppermint tea bags with me. In real life I love drinking tea, but on the trail it requires a lot of effort. Filtering extra water, using more fuel to boil it, it’s just an extra chore. I save it for days when I really need it, and today was one of those days. Even though i didn’t feel like it and I just wanted to go to bed, I made tea. “look at the mountains, they’re beautiful, dammit,” I told myself. I was right. It was. The tea warmed me up and I felt relaxed. It was exactly what I needed.

Day 124: Green Mountains Majesty

Ridge – Lake Sally Ann
Mileage: 27.5

Goat started moving early this morning. Too early. I laid in my tent, willing Happy Pants to so the same, but he started packing up as well. Gah. I’m still so terrible at waking up.

The morning was grey and dreary, the fog seemed endless. I was beginning to think it was going to be like this all the way to Canada, but then in the afternoon the sun came out through the fog and it stayed for the rest of the day. I was ecstatic. At least for today, it looked like there wouldn’t be any rain.

There was lots of traffic on the trail today. One section hiker bowed to me. I passed a group of southbound kids, and who did I see but Maggie hiking with them! I met her when she was section hiking in the sierras and now she was chaperoning a group of high schoolers on a trip. The sierras were 1600 miles ago. What?!

The last few miles of the day were the most beautiful. I was up on a ridge that looked down into the valley and I was surrounded by huge mountains covered in lush green grass. I was beginning to think the lake we were planning to camp at didn’t exist – I should be getting close, but how? I was still up on a ridge.

I turned a corner and there was a lake tucked back in to the mountain, right on the ridge line. Goat waved me over to the campsite perched above the lake overlooking the mountains. And all was right with the world.